The destiny of man is in his own soul.

                                            —Herodotus

A relationship with our soul is a gift we give ourselves. A celebration of the heart, it transforms ordinary situations into extraordinary delights. Like anything that engages the heart, it heightens our awareness, vulnerability, and compassion; yet because it is rooted in spirit, it also ignites an appreciation of the sacred within us. Respect, acceptance, and trust are therefore required, as is unflagging support and enormous courage. Day by day this relationship showers us with blessings, inviting us to come present in the moment, turn our gaze inward, listen to our deepest truths, and create our lives from the inside out. One woman describes her soulful connection in these words:

On my best days, I am grateful for my opportunities and laugh at myself regularly. Cherishing all of life, I know I can use everything it presents as a way to rejuvenate, expand, and progress ahead instead of automatically assuming it’s out to stop me. I recognize the world as a reflection of my thought s, feelings, and behaviors, all of which I strive to take responsibility for. I am in my element when I listen to my stillness, face my real and imagined dragons, and slay them one by one. Then I smile from deep inside, knowing I’ve been able to distinguish my illusions from reality and once again take charge of my life.
     On my worst days, I’m within a hairsbreadth of joining the ranks of the ‘walking wounded,’ who react harshly to life out of conditioned patterns long outdated. I expect someone else to provide a happily-ever-after wave of the wand, banishing my fears and worries. I judge and blame others for my personal insecurities and inconsiderate behaviors.
     Fortunately, I’ve learned to recognize these attempts to control events by living my life through others. Now I can tell when I’m disconnecting from my essence and giving away my power. Since I cherish my freedom, I whisper words of encouragement to myself and move forward once again.

Most people want to connect to who they truly are, so they can experience peace and fulfillment and live a purposeful life. But too often this yearning remains unanswered. Psychologists’ offices are booked solid, personal growth seminars are filled to capacity, and rarely does an advice column go unread. Moreover, research studies reveal that fifteen million Americans are clinically depressed. To ease our pain, we disengage further from ourselves by turning to quick fixes: antidepressants constitute a multimillion-dollar industry, alcohol is consumed to excess, cocaine is the number one selling retail product, and material goods are purchased at such an astounding rate that 60 percent of Americans now carry credit card debt.

Why do we have such difficulty establishing a meaningful connection with ourselves? For one thing, Madison Avenue has hardwired us to believe that if we have the object of our dreams, we will be fulfilled: if we own the perfect car, we will attract the romance we deserve; if we use the proper toothpaste, we will be sexy beyond belief; if we wear the right clothes, we will be loved like never before; and once we have the right relationship, we will be whole and complete. In response, we have come to expect that external accoutrements will bring us the inner experiences we desire. According to this plan, individuals with all the "right" possessions ought to be happy. But instead, many feel disappointed, hurt, and betrayed.

In letting material possessions determine our priorities, we forfeit our vitality, give up our personal power, and become enslaved, immersed in a lifestyle instead of designing a dedicated life. Rather than us owning our possessions, they end up owning us and running our day-to-day existence. As anyone in bondage to material trappings will tell you, they make dreadful masters.

Advertising, however, is not the only culprit. We’ve also been programmed by Hollywood and our own early childhood conditioning to believe that if we adopt certain roles and behavioral standards we will be socially accepted. Desperate for a sense of belonging, we learned the rules early on: "The one with the most toys in the end gets the thumbs-up," "Be somebody important," "Money can buy you admission to your crowd of choice," "Triumph at all costs," "Fame is the key to glory," "Be perfect," "A partner is the answer to your prayers." But in trying to win at this game, we identified with someone else’s script, overrode our own instincts and wishes, and ended up feeling abandoned and lonely. No one told us about the importance of belonging first to ourselves.

The problem is that we have been going after symbols and images, which cannot impart the qualities we truly desire. Automobiles do not make us romantic, toothpaste does not make us sexy, clothes do not make us lovable, partnerships do not make us complete, and borrowed standards of conduct do not pave the way to meaningful relationships. Symbols and images are external forms devoid of essence, and as such they cannot provide fulfillment. When our fascination with them fades, as it must, so does the enjoyment they may have temporarily provided.

Typically, a craving for symbols or images will arise when we are not in contact with our essence. Out of touch with the soul’s accepting nature, we may launch forth on buying sprees or undergo cosmetic surgery hoping to nourish ourselves with approval from the outside. Disconnected from our soul, we may run for president of an organization, secretly longing to boost our sense of value. But this kind of recognition invariably proves disappointing, because there seems never to be enough of it. Indeed, no amount of approval or esteem from the outside world can satisfy the underlying craving for self-acceptance and self-worth.

The pursuit of symbols and images epitomizes creation from the "outside in." Such an approach to life is doomed from the start because it focuses on external forms and fails to engage our essence. Perhaps you have been on this path and become a stranger to yourself and your innermost desires. Or maybe you’ve experienced excitement early in the quest, only to find it ephemeral and unfulfilling.

A far more rewarding approach is to start from the inside, using self-investigation to uncover your soul qualities and letting these create the outer form. This two-step method results in a fulfilling creation that, like a good piece of chocolate, has a rich, gooey center (essence) and an outer shell (form). It is then possible to opt solely for inner happiness or worldly acquisitions . . . but why deprive yourself? A life manifested from the inside out is not an either-or proposition. You can have the best of both worlds. You can relax into being yourself and enjoy material possessions.

Starting from the inside yields other benefits as well. For one, authenticity is not sacrificed; you get to dedicate your efforts to the expression of your true self. For another, frustration decreases because rather than searching madly for gratifying experiences, you can simply allow for them—after all, their appearance is something your divine essence excels in. In addition, your interactions with others will reflect your alignment with your soul. The better acquainted you become with this all-powerful and wise intelligence, the more people you’ll find mirroring back your connection with it.

The day you realize that all your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and relationships originate inside of you, you’ll begin cleaning up the inner clutter of conditioning so you can manifest a gratifying adventure on the sea of life. Once cleared of restrictive programming, you’ll be able to pilot your own boat through the sometimes calm, sometimes tempestuous waters—course correcting as needed, yet continually relishing the journey toward your soul’s destination.

This book emerged from the experiences of hundreds of men and women who unraveled the mystery of human potential and spiritual awareness: we can be who we are and have what we want, but we’ve been going about it backwards. Part I provides simple techniques for exploring your true self. Part II presents guidelines for manifesting your desires from the inside out. Both procedures actively foster new, more expansive perceptions and relationships.

In seeking to befriend your soul, remember that this essential ingredient is already within you. To engage its participation in creating a more rewarding life, add courage and a heart willing to open one more time than it closes. Then cast off on your course to soul awareness . . . and ports of call you have visited only in dreams.