Meeting
your soul is not a onetime event but a moment-to-moment deepening, an
ongoing rite of passage from who you thought you were to who you really
are.
—Living
From The
Inside Out
Does your community have a town gossip? If so, you know they indulge in petty talk and spread secrets all over town. They meddle in other people's business and repeat things without first checking the accuracy of the information. They can be dangerous because before you know it, they can ruin your reputation, which is akin to what happened to me.
Although the scandal-monger wasn't a blood relative, we unfortunately were living under the same roof. His name was Mac and he was a hyacinth macaw—a beautiful red and yellow parrot. With his long saber-shaped tail, curved powerful bill, and brilliant plumage, Mac was about 40 inches long and weighed only two pounds. But those two pounds were deadly. Without giving it a second thought, Mac would snoop and tell.
Mac displayed his gossiping nature throughout my childhood. It wasn't unusual for Mac to tell a guest, "Enter at your own risk!" "Be like a tree and leave!" or "Keep on trucking!" When I was training our new puppy, Mac overheard the words "Stop!" "Sit!" and "Stay!" which he added to his repertoire of rhetoric and repeated regularly.
But one time, Mac went too far. He was perched on his observation deck while I answered a ringing telephone. The greeter on the other end asked to speak to the "lady of the house" so I laid the phone down and went in search of my mother. As soon as I left the room, Mac began screaming, "Stop! Stop! Stop!" His shrieks and screeches sounded alarming to a rookie, but I had learned to tune him out. All I heard was blah, blah, blah. Not finding my mother, I returned to the phone but the caller had hung up. Unknown to me, the caller assumed someone was in trouble and notified the authorities. Within minutes, the police arrived and I became their prime suspect.
I had no idea that Mac's big mouth was behind the disturbance. It took me awhile to figure out what happened. Regrettably for me, Mac refused to repeat his guilty message in front of the officers. Instead, they scolded me for playing a trick on them and lectured me on the seriousness of my actions before they left the scene.
I was furious at Mac but he didn't seem to care. Mac observed the situation neutrally without being drawn into my emotional reaction. I, on the other hand, found myself "losing it"- fuming inwardly while exploding outwardly. I scolded him and read him the riot act but he didn't seem remorseful. I felt victimized by the situation and thought it terribly unfair but my anger and judgments only added insult to injury and made matters worse.
In hindsight, the incident served to teach me an important lesson. We limit our effectiveness when we pretend that life happens to us. Rather than recognizing that our interpretation of it can make a difference, we often stay stuck in anger and judgments which increase stress and misery. Why not opt for peace and happiness instead?
Indeed, attitude is a choice. Only when I changed my state of mind did things begin improving. To prime the pump, I took myself on a nature walk and began giving voice to gratitude which inspired an awakening of thankfulness inside me. From my new perspective, I had an "ah ha" moment. I realized that I was going to look back at the situation one day and find it humorous. And, if I was going to laugh at a later date, why not laugh now! That's all it took for me to begin laughing uproariously. As I was giggling, I noticed that I began relaxing, anxiety levels subsided, and I was filled with joy.
Laughter is a proven wonder drug. Scientific studies reveal the positive effects of this natural healer. It reduces tension, boosts energy levels, lowers the heart rate, increases the number of disease-fighting cells, decreases blood pressure, enhances oxygen consumption, suppresses the production of the stress hormone epinephrine, and promotes the release of endorphins, leading to a "natural high."
Since laughter and anger can't occupy the same psychological space at the same time, it's our choice as to which one will prevail. Although we can feel challenged, we can choose to rise above it.
From time to time, we all face challenges. But we need not continue to see ourselves as helpless and defeated, or to depict events as victimizing. We can learn new ways of seeing and interpreting and although we may not be able to direct outer circumstances, we can take charge of how we respond to them. Instead of automatically reacting from a limited and constrictive perspective, choosing an expansive and creative action such as laughter can improve your attitude and enhance your reputation.
Mac served as my teacher and presented me with an opportunity
to learn and grow. Thanks Mac and "Keep on trucking!"
Feel free to share this inspirational message with friends, just keep the copyright and credits intact. If you enjoyed this article and would like more practical guidance to soulful living, read Dr. Jean-Marie Hamel’s book, Living from the Inside Out.
© 2004 Jean-Marie Hamel